Frustration

I cried for a good few minutes last night. Pathetic hor? Such a crybaby. It's just getting too frustrating to deal with people these days.

Sometimes I really don't understand how things can go SO wrong. I do things with good intentions but I'm only criticised or returned with a nice strong slap on my face (not literally).

I would give all I have for the people whom I truly care about. But most of the times, not only do they not appreciate it, some even come around your back and do things that you would never expect them to do to you. Why is that? Shouldn't you be glad that someone would do so much for you? Don't you think they will be hurt by your doings? Am I such a worthless piece of shit, that I do not even deserve some respect?

If it wasn't bad enough, I'm a sucker for forgiving too easily. I let go easily, I really do. I'm always the kind who is willing to mend fences because I personally feel that being mad at someone or keeping an enemy waste too much energy of mine. I would rather forgive and forget. Sometimes, I even find reasons for their doings. Even when you know deep down inside that they don't fucking deserve it. Nor will they care. How pathetic, right? What hurts me most is when I try to make ammends when it shouldn't even be me doing so, they throw it right back at you.

Seems like even blogging is a fault now. If I were to talk about fashion or shopping or what I've done recently, that's not making a big deal. Just boring. But when I mention what happened to me and how I feel about it HERE in my private little world, I'm doing it because I am making a big deal out of it. So tell me, what IS the right thing to do? Humour me.

I thought that I could blog out my anger even if it only lasted ten minutes. Let go of my steam, then drop it. Or else, what good does a blog do if I can't actually pen down my actual feelings when I feel like it.

Hey, it works. I think I'm feeling better already. Back to work.