A Moment Of Weakness.

You would think that if time was running really short for me to study for a big paper, I would be cramming as much as I could right this second. But no, I decide to post something here instead. Great move, Elaine. You're definitely gonna ace this paper.

Just as I walked into the bathroom to take a shower, I found Crazy's puddle of pee on the floor, right by the toilet bowl. Fantastic! As I kneeled down to clean it up, I started feeling sorry for myself. Maybe it just felt like nothing has gone right lately. Not as I wanted them to be. Well, that's life. And I wonder if it was all the stress and bottled up emotions inside of me, I started..crying.

Yes, I cried. Even when I entered the shower, I continued shedding my tears. It somehow felt good. No one was there to see me at my weakest point, and the water just felt pouring over my head as my tears rolled away.


Did I feel much better after that? Not really. Maybe a little bit. I somehow felt..lighter? Doesn't make any sense, does it? I guess it doesn't matter.

If someone was to ask me what was bothering me, I don't think I could give a proper answer. I feel like there are so many issues to deal with, yet I can't exactly pinpoint what are they. And I don't even want to deal with any of my issues.

Heck, I rather help others deal with their problems! Maybe helping others gives me an excuse not to deal with mine. Or maybe it comforts me that I'm not the only one with problems, and there are others who have bigger matters to deal with compared to mine. Or maybe it just makes me smile that I could help someone solve a matter eventhough I couldn't solve mine. At least, the ones I cared for had someone by their side to walk that tough journey eventhough I had to walk mine alone.

I would love to share more of my thoughts, but I need to study. God, please help me through this. I need to believe that everything will be fine. Soon..