To: Me Yucky.

I could only thank my friend, for letting me know that she found something interesting for me to read. :) Anyway, since YOU want to talk so much, you should hear what I've got to say as well. I'm sure you are DYING for a reply from me. And there you go. Enjoy.

For your info, my lil' "friend", I did not speak much to RS because of certain misunderstandings that came up every now and then. However, we were not enemies - just that I'm sometimes angry at him because I did not understand half the things he did until we finally talked about it. I do not care if RS wants to get back together with me or not for what I've apparently done, because it's not my fault in the first place. He chose to leave me over matters that could be solved. I'm not going to sit there and standby while he happily decides to leave me and then wants me back later on. And YOU don't know OUR history, and you do not know what mistakes he has done before either so do not try to share your two cents here. It's not like I cheated on him or something. Plus, the reason he did not want to get back together with ME, was just in case I repeat the same mistakes his EX did, that very good friend of yours, whose name I shall not mention here. :) He made THAT very CLEAR when we talked about this. What did she do? Go and ask your good friend to share her history with you.

And after I found out about you two, we were NOT enemies. It took me a couple of days to settle down but we were still on talking terms. I didn't stand around chit-chatting with him, because I had my exams. But he was still nice to me and talked to me online, as a friend. And cared and helped if I needed any, contrary to your belief. It was him that hoped we could still be good friends like before. I was aware that I can feel sad about what happened but I couldn't blame him for it, because our relationship was over. I'm not sure if he gave you the impression that we were ENEMIES, but I can tell you that we weren't. If he did, that's his fault. Not mine. :)

We initially had lunch and dinner because we happened to be out together. It was just something we did before we headed back home. I don't think there was anything wrong about it, esp since I assumed that you KNEW about it (when I did not know that you two were over - and if you must know, I STILL do not know when did you two break up because I did not ASK).

If it means anything at all, I did NOT invite him over. I just did not decline his offer to watch a show together, as I was very sure that's all we are doing. And you may think of him differently, but I know that he would NOT make any move on me if he was still together with you. It's not like I would have allowed ANYTHING to happen because I thought that you two were together. If I had any bitchy intentions of trying to steal him back, I would have attempted it long ago, when I found out? And there were people who actually ENCOURAGED me to try get him back, but *I* refused to because I felt that he's made his choice and stealing someone's guy isn't my style.

If you think this is a cheap way to get back at me, just because you realised what is going on, go on. I won't stop you. Maybe you can feel a little bit of what I felt when I found out the real truth as well. What can you blame me for? Not sleeping on the sofa in the living room, and let him continue sleeping on my bed? If so, FINE. My fault. Hope you feel heaps better.

And why are you so mad about it? I thought you two broke up already? If you're still together with him now, then I can understand a lil' better why you're being so mad? You said you're fine about it already, right? I did not even SUGGEST that we watch a movie together, let alone have him fall asleep on my bed. So what 'tricks' did I use? I am not THAT cheap to long for small little things like this. I've got my pride to keep, and so, I want things that belongs to me find its own way back to me. Not by using cheap tricks.

First of all, even such a small thing like this can make you angry. And blog your anger and curse me. How did you think I would feel when I find out the truth before? So big deal if I did a bit of complaining about you.

Yes, maybe I do not know the whole truth. I do not care if you tried rejecting him at first or there's some twist to your lovely romantic story. Then again, whose fault was it? You had the chance to explain but you didn't. Even after our very last misunderstanding, I warned you in advance that if you think you are beginning to like RS etc, let me know so that I shall prepare myself for it, and do not take me as a fool. I am pretty sure I said if I find out that you hide this from me and I knew you two were together, I would 'diu chow' with you. Please excuse my language, but I think I made it very clear back then. You said OK, YOU WILL. It's bad enough that I need to accept that a person I sincerely took as a good friend would even THINK of dating my ex, but I'm already giving you half the green light, just as long as YOU TELL ME in advance. Which you did not. Not many people find such things acceptable, ya know. It's like recycling boyfriends. And I wouldn't do such a thing to a person I care about as a friend. Maybe I wasn't really a friend to you, that I will never know.

If I was gonna act childish, you have no idea what I would have done, ok? There were heaps of childish troubles I could have caused for you.

:: Its all about karma. Honey, enjoy yours now : ) :: Exactly. What has it got to do with you?? A little oversensitive, don't you think? If you don't think it has anything got to do with you, it's because IT DOESN'T!! So no one is asking you to give a damn. And what karma am I deserving? The only karma I got was having a friend that betrayed my trust, that's all. Wait, did I say 'friend'? I meant friendS. Every single time I remember how your good friend messaged me not to tell YOU about RS' things anymore, gets my anger all fired up again. If she did not message me that (which shows that she obviously was supporting you) or got involved, I wouldn't be annoyed with her as well. All the shit about asking me to let nature take its course.

Do you know I was already slowly trying to move on and I did not want to have anything got to do with you anymore? So when you blocked me on MSN - I thought it would be the end of our arguements.

All the talk about 'barking alone' and not talking to idiot, but then you decided to blog it out here. Real smart move, my dear. It doesn't make a difference. So look like I'm not the only 'idiot' around, isn't it? And too late, you've already degraded yourself by doing this today. I did not message you on MSN since 'miyake-ing and reesion-ing' because I DELETED you off MSN, just to make sure I do not go crazy and attack you online. I wanted to see if YOU would approach me and try to explain yourself and make an attempt to mend our friendship. But I guess you felt that I wasn't worth your try. Anyway, I left it at that and there you came, messaging me looking for him. Yes, you didn't do anything wrong - but just ask ANYONE, and they will say that what you did was bloody insensitive.

I don't need you to know what I think. I do not care if you ever read my blog. My blog are meant for my working friends who are too busy to chat and catch up with me online on MSN. Actually, I would appreciate it if you don't. :) I'm pretty sure you and your good friend would check on people's Multiply (after signing out first) or view people's Friendster anonymously so that you can still look at people's personal page without them knowing that you did. (Your good friend told me she did that to *someone* so I'm sure it's the kind of thing that you guys do).

If you think I'm such a person, I shall not defend myself over it. Just seems like talking to you nearly on a daily basis have not given you a single clue about me. Seems like RS has learnt nothing as well. What I've gathered about you - I shall not say. But if they are true, you're not such a great person yourself. And who is RS to judge me, when ALL my friends know how bloody stubborn he is in certain point of views.

So is Miss S angry at your good friend for betraying RS so many times before as well? And didn't he forgive her so many times before anyway? I don't see her being so mad at him last time. Oh right, because that person is her good friend. Please get your facts straight - I did not 'betray him so many times'. If he told you such a thing, it's just to get you on his side. Just like the stories he told me about his EX. She can 'shoot' all she want, it really doesn't matter. But instead of being so pissed about RS and me, she should be pissed to know that she has such 'great' friends like you two, always telling me her 'lovely' private stories. :) Only if she knew...tsk tsk. Anyway, none of you have the right to judge anyone or look down on other people. I'm sure heaps of people know how complicated your love relationships were before - because lots of stories have reached my ears ages ago.

Anyway, I realised that I've said too much. I did not have to explain what actually happened, or to clear your misunderstandings towards me or RS. If you got something to say to him, go ahead. I don't have to explain anything to you anymore since you're no longer his gal.

And until now, you still do not get the point why I am angry at YOU. It looks WRONG to date your friend's ex. It isn't wrong, but it doesn't look RIGHT either. I could have slowly accepted such a fact, but what I am PISSED about is I really took you as a friend. That is why I still talked to you and didn't keep all the previous misunderstandings in my heart. I accepted what you had to say, and just put it behind us.

I confided in you so much about how I felt, while you were hiding such a big thing from me. How STUPID did you think I felt when I finally found out? How HURT do you think I felt when I knew that someone I trusted so much, did such a thing to me? Just put yourself in my shoes for ONCE and imagine what it would have felt like, if you can't even take such a small thing now? And when you knew that I knew the truth, you did not even ATTEMPT to apologise or explain yourself.

Just ask your good friend if she lost her current boy and has been telling you how sad she is and how much she misses him, only to find out later that you were his current chick. Just imagine that feeling of betrayal. Then you'll know what I'm talking about. Oh wait, she should already have felt it before in high school. If she can't remember who I'm talking about, I can kindly remind her.

And I'm not sure if you understand the lyrics well enough, but seems like it's something you should direct towards HIM, instead of me :)

Again and again, I've left you alone. Just remember that it was always you that approached me. And always, the wrong way or for the wrong reasons. I do not want to retaliate anymore, because it'll just be a blog war. Don't waste my time. Hope you've read enough of what you wanted. And keep your silence.

:: Edit// Oh, it's a hell long composition because I had to reply to mostly what you wrote in your blog, since you just had so much to say.