You know, I've been doing some thinking. Yeah, I KNOW. That doesn't happen very often. But you know how things can be when you haven't got the internet. Gotta think nonsense to keep yourself occupied.
When people start dating or going out, it may never reach the point of getting serious or into a proper relationship. Then how do you see it as? A casual or holiday fling? Or do you say 'dated briefly'? Anyway, that's not the main point. As much as it could have ended on a mutual basis, chances are one side of the party has lost interest to proceed any further.
How do they handle it? As much as I wish that it would be handled maturely (tell the truth instead of otherwise), it is not necessarily so. Especially men.
They pick the worse ways to indicate it's over - avoiding you with the lamest but common excuses ever:
1) Busy. Whether it's with work, or something else. It doesn't matter. They tell you they're busy despite you knowing they actually have a pathetic boring life.
2) They want to focus on their career. Right. Esp with men, please remember that they think with their head. Not the one attached to the neck, but the small teeny weener below. They're not gonna pick losing you TOTALLY over work.
3) They're not ready to commit. It's true, partly. They're just not ready to commit to YOU.
Obviously because he/she isn't that into you.
4) Oh I give up. Too lazy to think what else could they actually possible think of.
Either way, it always leave us feeling dejected. Because eventhough we really might have contributed to the lack of chemistry etc, we didn't intend to do it in order to lose what you thought you actually had (in mind).
It might hurt to know that the other half doesn't feel the same way about you anymore. But it hurts more that they couldn't respect you enough to be honest and clearcut about things. And chose to keep you hanging there like a 'char siu'. So you can keep guessing and hang around.
Some do it to keep you there, guessing and staying close, while they stray around to make sure they haven't got any other better option better than you. The small consolation to this is that, they're still not ready to ditch you. They still want you as a back-up. But the bad news is, if you were still picked at the end, bear in mind that it was because you were the back-up plan. The one chosen if nothing better comes along. Just like that 'char siu' that has been hanging on the display all day. When the last customer realises that the stall's ran out of steamed or roasted chicken and even the ducks and siu yuks, the 'char siu' will finally be chosen.
*pauses* I'm aware I use very weird examples, but I couldn't think of something else besides food at this hour.
Some guys give you excuses to avoid you, just for you to get the idea that you are apparently 'slowly' drifting apart which finally led to a proper end, although they've clearly decided it's over right from the time they started avoiding you.
I guess there are some that had a bit more of balls to tell you it's not working. They'll give you the very apparent 'I really wish I didn't have to do this to you. You have no idea how much it's hurting me to see you this sad now' look without feeling a single shit on the inside :/
If you're lucky enough to be worth their time, then the 'We still can be very good friends. I'll still be affectionate and care for you like before. You won't be able to tell that things have changed between us' talk will glide along. And if you're smart enough, you should know it means nothing as you won't get even close enough to take a glimpse of their shadow from now on.
When you bump into them in public, or try to strike conversations with them online, all you will get are polite nods with akward silence or curt replies. That is, if they didn't just pretend to not see you at all or receive your messages, and just totally ignore you.
Sucks, ya? But either way, there isn't a perfect way to break-up. Regardless, someone is going to get hurt. Maybe when they choose to give you lame excuses, it might hurt when you finally stop being in denial and are aware that they really don't give a shit about you anymore, it would make you stand up on your own two feet and move on properly.
Let's say, the other half did still care for you. Or was abit too nice to you post-breakup. You'll be happy that they still care, but could you really move on? Would you want to? Because I'm sure that deep down inside, you're hoping they would regret their choice before and eventually come back to you. Which puts you thru more pain when the other person starts dating someone else, and it finally hits you they aren't coming back to you anymore. (Man, sometimes I think some of us are just addicted to misery like how moths or whaever-bugs-you-call-them are attracted to fire/light. You KNOW you're gonna get burnt, but still you wanna fly close enough towards it to see before dying.)
So maybe, they were jerks for a reason. To stop you right there from hoping, because it's the most cruel thing one can do - to leave you there, with an empty hope. Not that these jerks thought far enough to care. They just didn't give a shit. We were just gifted with them in order for us to move on faster in the long-run when we know they're not worth such pain :)
Here's a toast to those that broke any of our hearts or at least, left us feeling abandoned for no good reason. I hope, that someone does the same to you so that we can keep the karma cycle balanced. And the ones that has been hurt over and over again? Please believe, that the sun really will shine one day.
And if it doesn't, go blame Trademark.
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