Maybe, you can shrug me off as a drama queen. Or, being over-sensitive. But after what I've gone through, I think I deserve just a little bit of right to vent out my thoughts every now and then.
I'll like to be the bigger person at heart and ignore everything that comes along, but unfortunately, I can't.
Despite the progress I've made til this far, I can't just wipe the people and things that used to be in my life - the people that meant the world to me, the things that used to matter to me.
No, I'm not trying to analyse or ponder on issues like who did who wrong. Who cheated on who, who broke whose heart, and who betrayed who. If things like that can happen more than once, such relationships and friendships most probably wouldn't be worth keeping, don't you think?
But what bothers me - is that we're all meant to be adults. I don't expect us to be holding hands while skipping towards the sunset at the end of all the past drama, but really, did it require MSN blocking, or for my tiny name to be deleted off your friendster/facebook list? And including the people that are somewhat associated with me? Was it necessary?
Someone might come and say 'aiyah, such a small issue!'. Exactly, it's such a small thing and yet you made such an effort to look for my name in the midst of the hundreds, and click 'delete' or 'block'. I'm not exactly sure whether to be flattered, because it might have meant I had such an impact on you that you couldn't even bear seeing my name anywhere.
For the ones that deleted me off out of their lives totally, I wish you happiness and full of luck in the future. Because, without luck, you will be nowhere near successful since you can't handle such minor matters.
For the ones that decided to block me on MSN, I've decided to clean you off MY list. Obviously, you're not much involved in my circle of friends anymore so I don't think it's necessary for us to be updated with each other's lives, only for pure gossip's sake.
You know, just in case I go back to KL and take photos with Mr. X, there might be another huge outbreak of photo scandals and questions of whether I'm romantically involved with Mr. X or Y. And I really don't need that sort of attention or concern.
Obviously, you can't see the things and damages you have caused to what could have been a great friendship. And to continuously try to take a stab at my name, again and again (behind my back, thinking I wouldn't know it) indicates that there are no signs of guilt and remorse in you at all. So, there's nothing left to say between us anymore.
And the ones that blocked me on MSN for no proper reason, I've decided to do the same anyway. Because if you can block me and stop talking to me when you're not even supposed to be directly involved, you're just not worth that space in my list. Why give you access to the pieces of my life?
I can't help wondering asking such bimbos, how were you involved in this, to see the need to block me. And only if you knew the things I knew that was said behind you...hohoho. Just feels like...you're sleeping with the enemy or something.
Oh well, don't take it personally. I'm just doing what my ex is doing. Clean up our current lives and get rid of the unnecessary mess we left behind.
Now that I've done what I think is needed and vented out my thoughts, I can attempt to be an adult and be mature again. Bye!
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